August 30, 2023 | 3:00 am
After 18 years of marriage, the wife is concerned that her husband has no interest in being faithful.
Dear Abby: My husband and I have been married for 18 years. It is the second marriage for both of us. He cheated on his ex wife with me. So soon after we were married, he told me that if he had the chance, he would betray me, but I should not worry because no truly beautiful woman would ever desire him.
Six years into our marriage, I needed to find something on his phone and saw that he had signed up for a dating site for married couples looking to cheat. We went to counseling. He said he was not planning to continue; He just wanted to see what was there.
Soon, I noticed that he had checked out a foreign women dating website, but he needed a credit card, so he gave up. Off to consult again. I told him that this was the second strike.
Last month, I went on vacation with my daughter. Last week, he accidentally deleted something on his phone and asked me to find it. What I also found were emails from women offering their services, all sent while I was away. (“Send money, I’ll send more sexy pictures.”) He claims he didn’t ask for it. There are eight or 10. My question: Is this strike three? A foolish lady in Maryland
Dear Madam: It should be clear to you by now that your husband is not interested in being faithful. If you’re looking for a reason to quit, this is the third strike. If not, it’s a 2 1/2 strike. (Please get tested for STDs.)
Dear Abby: My beautiful daughter has a great job, two beautiful boys and a fiancé who loves her. She seems to have it all. But since she was with him, she has gained weight. I estimate she now weighs about 250 lbs. She has no energy, doesn’t walk at all, and sits in front of the TV when she’s not at work. She refuses to let her picture be taken. She always insists that she be the one taking pictures.
I know she’s upset about her weight. I know I I’m upset because I’m afraid she won’t live another 10 years. This past weekend, we were in the outdoor self-catering restaurant with a steep terrace. We wanted another drink. She asked me to bring her because she would be so anxious. She made two trips to get things to our table.
How can I say I think she needs to lose weight? Of course it is, but will this ruin our relationship? I almost feel like she needs an intervention. We would also be concerned if it was the alcohol that threatened her life. But it’s food. Her fiancé is also overweight. I think it’s an enabler.
I am stressed and depressed about this. They’re planning to get married next year, and I wonder how much they’ll weigh by then. Any advice? – A protective mom in Missouri
Dear mom: Your concern is valid. Your daughter’s overweight and sedentary lifestyle can lead to serious health problems if not addressed. However, the intervention should come from your daughter’s doctor, if she has one, and not from you.
Dear Abby was written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jane Phillips, and founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at DearAbby.com or PO Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.